Monday, March 31, 2008

Roy’s Lawyer: Lawsuit Against Dog “Hopeless”

In the off-chance that you normally consult a less reliable news source, such as TSN, Rogers Sportsnet, or ESPN, you definitely didn’t hear the whole story behind Jonathan Roy. He was unfortunately mauled by a dog a few days ago in a parking lot.

The vicious pug, "Giselle," is responsible for J. Roy's horrific injuries. She is not difficult to identify because, unlike most of her relatives, she usually dresses in a variety of different dog costumes.

The Roys' lawsuit against Giselle will be a hard-fought battle.

"We were told that it’s practically impossible to sue the owner of a dog because dog owners aren’t responsible for a dog’s actions, especially if the dog in question 'acts in the heat of action.' We’re very upset," said Patrick Roy two days ago.

The violent attack occurred shortly after the completion of the now-infamous Sagueneens-Remparts game.

"Obviously we would have preferred to go after the owner of the dog, especially considering that Giselle's English is a little rough, but that’s the way the cookie crumbles, you know," he finished.

Jonathan Roy, who refused to be interviewed, simply stood beside his father and showed reporters the "finger" (using all of his available middle fingers, mind you) in anger. He apparently yelled obscenities but our reporter doesn't understand French. Our interpreter was unavailable to help cover the story because he was fired last week.

Things have turned worse for the Roys. Their lawyer, Rusty Hardin, has refused to defend them. Unfortunately the family could not be reached for comment because they are currently enjoying a pleasant seal-hunting trip.

"Dog culture is deeply engrained. Dog-eats-dog, simple as that. You can change people culture, but not dog culture. Everyone knows it's impossible to convince a dog to act rationally. Dogs unfortunately don't have the rationale to control emotions (especially emotions that are 'charged') or instincts the way we humans do," Rusty Hardin said.

"Besides, there's a clause in Quebec law that allows dog violence in hockey arena parking lots... I've lost enough cases while representing athletes. This one looks hopeless so I can't risk losing another," he finished before hopping onto his ATV and driving away.

It is presumed that the Roys will be searching for another lawyer to represent them in court.

We traded some rare hockey POGs in order to acquire the rights from Costume Dogs to display the photo above.

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