Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Meet Liz Oak, editor-in-chief: Part 1

As our readership hits the one-million mark we felt the need to perhaps explain ourselves. Where did we come from? Why are we so good? How does The Linesman get the truth right when every other sports channel doesn't? It's all here in a short series of interviews with The Linesman founder and editor-in-chief, Liz Oak. Enjoy as our best interviewer, Soo Min-ji, invites you into the head of our great leader.

Soo Min-ji: Hi, nice to meet you. My name’s Soo Min-ji but you can just call me Minge.
Liz Oak, Editor-In-Chief: Hi Minge, it’s a pleasure to meet you.
Minge: It’s good to meet you too. So tell me something about yourself… You’re generally pretty elusive about your identity and our millions of readers want to get to know their favourite editor-in-chief a little better.
LO, E-I-C: Well I guess I’ll start off by saying that I’m a criminal.
Minge: Really? That’s fascinating. What have you done?
LO, E-I-C: I’m fairly confident that I’ve broken some labour laws.
Minge: How so?
LO, E-I-C: Overworking our writers, firing employees based on their physical appearance, how they smell – stuff like that. I basically fire people when I’m bored, you know?
Minge: That’s not so bad.
LO, E-I-C: I’ve killed a man.
Minge: Murder… Seriously?
LO, E-I-C: Of course, I wouldn’t joke about murder. I’m a very serious person.
Minge: If you don’t mind me asking, who did you kill?
LO, E-I-C: I couldn’t possibly damage my reputation by sharing this information with you so I don’t mind at all! I mean, it’s unlikely anyone can prove that we sent Ted Sanders to cover a particular story that I was absolutely certain he wouldn’t come back alive from. I personally don’t really consider that murder, however.
Minge: Aside from your criminal record, what else should we know about you?
LO, E-I-C: I’m a woman.
Minge: Yeah, I’m shocked! I normally assume that all sports editors are men.
LO, E-I-C: Ahem, I’m an editor-in-chief.
Minge: Oh, my apologies. Editor-in-chief Liz Oak, right?
LO, E-I-C: Right. Anyways, it just goes to show that stereotypes are so wrong.
Minge: Would you say that The Linesman aims to break stereotypes and spread the message of love?
LO, E-I-C: That sounds about right, yes. We also try our best to publish unbiased and truthful material. However, I don’t believe ethnic minorities are good enough to be reading The Linesman.
Minge: What is your target audience?
LO, E-I-C: Anyone cool enough to wear Tommy Hilfiger clothing. In fact, if it was possible, I’d make it mandatory to wear Hilfiger clothing while visiting The Linesman. Hilfiger is actually what my employees are expected to wear to work everyday.
Minge: Going back to the subject of race, what’s your opinion of affirmative action?
LO, E-I-C: You.
Minge: Hahaha, you’re hilarious!
LO, E-I-C: Not really. [Takes a sip of coffee]
Minge: So what’s your favourite sport?
LO, E-I-C: Hockey.
Minge: Why so?
LO, E-I-C: I love the fighting. I watch whenever I can, usually in anticipation of concussions, comas, sliced necks, broken spines, severed limbs, blood, loose teeth, extruding eyeballs, etc. I love that shit. Oh! Excuse my language.
Minge: That’s ok – Do you like any other sports?
LO, E-I-C: Not really. I actually hate sports.
Minge: Why do you then act as editor-in-chief of The Linesman?
LO, E-I-C: Well I’ve always been a huge fan of cockfighting and dog fighting – I originally intended to only write about those two activities. But then I discovered that Michael Vick was a famous NFL QB and so I got mildly interested in sports. I was really impressed that an athlete was affiliated with dog fighting. So I wrote a couple of articles on sports - about Vick and whatever, and then the readers started flooding in and eventually everything just spun out of control. This is where we are now and we continue to grow, even beyond my own expectations.

Please stay tuned for the inevitable continuation of this interview.

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