Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Report: Tim Hortons Brier Is Not A Doughnut

Our news organization, much like yourself, was really excited about the Tim Hortons Brier. After all, who doesn't look forward to a new addition to the Tim Hortons menu?

So we sent our reporter Soo Min-ji to the nearby Tim Hortons near our headquarters to pick up a dozen of the new Brier-flavoured doughnuts. She returned empty handed, however. Editor-in-chief Liz Oak nearly fired her until Min-ji explained that the Brier wasn't edible.

"I'm extremely depressed," Liz explained yesterday.

"This now means that we have to take money out of our budget, which frankly doesn't actually exist yet, and charter a reporter to Winnipeg so that we can cover this damn curling tournament. But... we'll probably just not do that and make up some fictious reports," Liz finished.

The Linesman coverage of the Brier begins tomorrow. Soo Min-ji is boarding an airplane bound for Winnipeg right now. In fact, she's probably there already.

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