Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Report: Sidney Crosby Might Survive Injury

Sidney Crosby's entire career has recently been threatened by a dangerously lethal ankle injury. Despite the bad news the Penguins franchise hasn't sold itself and moved to a different city just yet.

"We are 98% sure that Mr. Crosby will survive this injury," said Penguins team Doctor Elijah Hook.

"He should be able to walk next week and hopefully after that get back onto his skates. His ankle is directly connected to his heart and brain - and one wrong move can kill him instantly - so rehabilitation is possible only if we handle this one carefully."

Despite the good news Pittsburgh's coach was singing a different tune.

"We will definitely lose every single game until he returns to the lineup," said coach Michelle Thereon.

"I will also probably commit suicide tomorrow. Sidney's injury is as bad as a plane flying into the White House."

Our Linesman reporter was unable to get a personal comment from Sidney because he was at the time being serenaded by a fleet of Buddhist and Hindu healing monks.

No comments: