Monday, November 12, 2007

Lindros Pulls "A Zoolander" At Hall of Fame Induction

Now that his career is thankfully over, Lindros has officially begun his crusade of not letting us forget him. It all started last night at the Hockey Hall of Fame induction ceremony.

After Gary Bettman finished reading the names of the actual inductees for 2007, Eric Lindros suddenly entered on a centaur-driven chariot and stole the podium. Bettman tried to resist but Eric punched him in the head, instantly delivering a concussion.

The centaurs then devoured Bettman and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. An egg-like odour lingered in the air as the smoke slowly cleared.

"I wanna thank you all for this honour," Lindros began.

"There's only one player that can retire and get inducted into the Hall of Fame the next day, and that's me," he continued.

Before he could say more, Scott Stevens came up from behind and socked Lindros in the head. He fell on the floor and the crowd happily retreated from underneath their tables.

Later that evening Lindros was taken to a hospital and was treated for a concussion. However, because it was his 57th concussion, his brain had officially ceased working.

Without consulting Lindros' mother, authorities will ship Lindros' body to Quebec City tomorrow. Before being thrown into the St. Lawrence River, the locals will roast his body on a stake while singing the tune "Frère Jacques."

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