Saturday, October 6, 2007

Mother Nature Cheers For Cleveland

Once in a while, people come into contact with God, the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus, and other supernatural individuals. Last night at the Indians-Yankees game, Mother Nature roared loudly in support of Cleveland.

As a result of cheering enthusiastically for her favourite baseball team, Mother Nature involuntarily released a swarm of bugs that bothered the players for approximately 40 minutes. Some argue that this event altered the eventual outcome of the game.

"Bull shit," said Yankees GM Joe Torre at a post-game conference. "This is absolute bull shit. We would have won if it wasn't for Mother Nature's so-called bug reaction," he finished.

"I really like Ohio," said Mother Nature yesterday. "Especially Cleveland. It's a nice, green place where I really thrive."

"Those bugs didn't swarm the field on purpose. That's just how I am when I watch baseball. Because I'm the mother of nature, I get excited in different ways than normal people."

"Please understand. If you were as epic as I am, you would understand my situation. It's not easy trying to cover up your farts when you shoot wind out of your ass that is strong enough to knock down trees."

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