Last year's NHL awards were full of surprises and let downs. Roberto Luongo, the man who was expected to win the award for "Best Penis," lost out to the dirty French-man Martin Brodeur.
"Italian sausage is seriously underrated," said Luongo to our reporters yesterday.
"I'm starting this new season with one and only one goal in mind: to win that penis award this summer."
Many players, like Dominik Hasek, meticulously tend to their pubes. Others like Brodeur have a "natural advantage." Although Luongo's pride is impressive, it just isn't enough to woo the judges.
"I'm comparing my dick to my hockey stick right now, and I can tell you... I feel belittled," said Luongo. "Not only by last year's loss, but by my own hockey stick."
"I'm going to have to go under the knife if I want this prize. And I do want it, so expect me to win. For sure this time," he finished.