Thursday, April 10, 2008

China To World: WE HAVE TANKS

By Ron Pomegranate, Linesman Basketball Department.

As protests erupt everywhere the Olympic torch goes, China prepares its homeland for what could be the best and most exciting protest of the year.

"This is a crisis but it's not as bad as the threat of suicide bombers," said Jacques Rogge, president of the International Olypmic Committee.

"So it could turn out to be really fun to watch. Especially with the way China likes to deal with protestors," he finished.

Political watch-dogs are eagerly anticipating the moment when protestors finally clash with riot squads on Chinese soil. China has recently sent highly ambiguous messages that foreshadow an entertaining matchup. For example, The Chinese Times, China's biggest newspaper, spent the previous week reporting on the award winning design of their newest tank fleet.

Also this past month, CTV (Chinese Television) aired a dozen documentaries that showcased the strength and admirable ability of China's protestor-resisting tanks. In one incredible scene the military demonstrated how their new tanks are perfectly capable of crushing people with little to no bloodshed.

"We can mow people down without leaving stains on the road. Where is your tank man now?" said General Xing Ping Po in the Chinese tank-documentary, Get Outta My Way.

Ron Pomegranate is the head basketball analyst for The Linesman. He is new on staff and loves fighting so much that he wishes for an enjoyable, solid fight between protestors and riot police at the Beijing Olympic Games.

Liz Oak, editor-in-chief snapped the above photograph while on her first journalistic assignment in the late 80's.

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