Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Leafs Nation Threatens To Separate

A representative from Leafs Nation, the official name of the Maple Leafs fan base, visited Metropolitan Toronto City Hall today to announce plans to claim sovereignty.

“Leafs Nation has its own distinct language. It’s called the ‘unspoken code of hockey.’ You probably don’t speak it because you’re not as intelligent as we are,” said Leafs Nation representative, Maximilian Defacto.

It is not quite clear what rank or position Mr. Defacto officially holds.

“The city of Toronto doesn’t respect our rights as citizens. Such as the right to fight. That’s a god-given right that Toronto can’t take away from us. We begin our fight for sovereignty today,” he said.

Reports indicate that Mr. Defacto was escorted out of Toronto City Hall after he attempted to assault the receptionist.

With the exception of the physical effort security guards used in order to physically remove Maximilian Defacto, City Hall responded calmly to the threats.

“If they actually do separate they’ll have to draw the border between Leafs Nation and Toronto with a piece of chalk. This decision won’t go by without a referendum though,” said Toronto Mayor David Miller.

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