Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Emery Enters Recording Studio

Everyone deals with demotion differently. Some people cry to themselves in their bedroom. Others bring semi-automatic rifles to work and maul their friends. Some turn to alcohol and drugs. But if there is one thing to learn in life, it is that everyone is different and that we should hate each other for our differences.

That is why the Ottawa Senators' goalie Ray Emery has chosen a unique path to bide his time as Martin Gerber's back-up.

"Drugs, gangs, violence and girls... Naw, that would have been too cliche," Emery said yesterday.

"That's why I've used my spare time to rap and create some tracks. This is for my brothers and my fans," he said.

Emery's debut album, Gangster Goalie, is set to hit stores in four months. It is set to feature hit songs such as Getting Pulled Over In My Hummer, L8 4 Work Again, and Mmmm That Cockroach Wuz Tasty. The tracks are currently being produced by legendary producer Dr. Dre.

"Um, I dunno what you heard about this album coming out in four months. To my knowledge, Ray hasn't entered any recording studio. By the way, where is he?" said Dr. Dre.

Yeah. Where is Ray Emery? What a strange person!

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