Friday, November 9, 2007

Gretzky Becomes American, Breaks Modano's Record

Mike Modano's "Most points by an American" celebration came to an adrupt hault with the news of Wayne Gretzky gaining American citizenship.

"I've finally discovered that I'm actually American," said Gretzky yesterday, just after receiving his citizenship status.

"My wife's American, my children are American... I am American. I can't hide it any more. This is a terrible secret that I can't keep from the public," he said while weeping.

This automatically means that Modano is no longer the American points leader in NHL history.

"I have no regrets," said Modano yesterday as he was funnelling a bottle of Champagne.

"I was gonna get drunk tonight either way. I think everyone should be American. It's the best way to go. Esepcially for Wayne," Mike said.

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