Thursday, November 15, 2007

God Interested In Acquiring A-Rod

God, the supreme being who created us all, sent Scott Boras a message through the angel Gabriel last night.

"It happened while I was having a money fight with Alex Rodriguez," began Boras.

"I was so close to winning the fight. I just needed to cover Alex with a few more million in cash, when all of a sudden, a burst of light appeared in the corner of the room. It was an angel. It was beautiful," he said.

According to Boras the angel said that Jesus' baseball team in heaven, the "Nazareth Apostles," was in desperate need of a hitter who is on the verge of becoming a baseball legend.

"We can't lose to Satan's team two years in a row. It's embarrassing. Half the saints on our team are too busy answering prayers," God said in the message.

Boras' decision is still unknown at this point. What we do know, though, is that Mariano Rivera has grown extremely jealous that God hasn't asked him to play on Jesus' baseball team.

"Does Alex quote scripture on his baseball glove? No. I do. It should be me," stated Rivera yesterday in a convincing accent.

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