Monday, November 26, 2007

Ferguson: Fighting Is The Answer

As witnessed in the recent Coyotes-Leafs matchup, Toronto has a lot of attitude and very little skill.

"That's why we're going to just beat each other up. Tomorrow," said John Ferguson Jr.

"I figure we'll just vent out all of our frustrations by giving ourselves the message. I think fighting will solve the problem," finished Ferguson.

"I like Ferguson's idea," said Darcy Tucker as he punched our reporter in the nose.

"Fighting is sweet. When you're losing badly in a game, why not just start some fights? Fighting answers all of your problems," Darcy said. He then went on to kick Jason Blake in the testicles.

"Fuck you Darcy! I have cancer!" yelled Blake.

"Shut up Jason. I'm trying to help you. You have to fight your cancer or die!"

Our Linesman Reporter, Ted Sanders, fled the locker room in the midst of the apparent "therapy" session.

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