Bonds Prescribed Steroids To Ease Media Pressure

To everyone's surprise, the media has been picking on baseball legend Barry Bonds for being black like Donovan McNabb.

As a result, a Doctor from the Bay Area Laboratory Co-operative has prescribed steroids for Bonds. They are meant to help him cope with the enormous task and responsibility of being Barry Bonds.

Bonds, who has never before taken any kind of performance enhancing drug, is not too worried about getting into any complications with the MLB.

"Since I don't technically have a team any more, I figured I can try these so-called steroids out," Bonds said yesterday. "Especially if they help me cope with being me," he said.

"It's really hard to be the best baseball player in the world. Sometimes, you have to accept the fact that you're so good that you need a little help... Like Matthew Perry, who relied on pain killers while shooting Friends."

"I just hope I don't catch a steroids-related health problem and die," he finished, while giving our reporter the finger and storming out.