Being the coach or manager of the most financially powerful team in any sports league is a really stressful job. Your life is literally on the line sometimes.
For instance, Joe Torre was officially pronounced dead this morning after a New York Yankees firing squad opened fire on the failed manager. Seeing as how the NHL's richest team, the Toronto Maple Leafs, is sucking balls so far in this 2007 season, head coach Paul Maurice might also face a similar demise.
"To be fair, I don't understand why the Leafs organization hasn't shot John Ferguson Jr. yet," said an evidently stressed out Maurice yesterday.
"He doesn't manage the team well, gives me shitty players and zero chemistry to work with... I'm a proud coach though, and I would die for the Leafs," finished Maurice, while clutching his heart with his fist.
Reportedly, Maple Leaf Sports Entertainment has printed a "wanted ad" in the Toronto Star calling for "seasoned rifle and/or gun hobbyists."