Wednesday, October 31, 2007

MLSE Cancels Remaining Leaf Home Games

The Leafs have lost 7-1 or 8-1 in five different home games so far this season. Bryan McCabe is booed so much on home ice that he's lost his entire sex drive. It's also not unusual to see the Air Canada Centre completely empty by the third period.

"This is an act of charity," said MLSE chairman Larry Tanenbaum.

"The team's shit and the fans aren't happy. We're helping them out by not letting them come to games. Save your fucking money and your voices," finished Tanenbaum.

In reaction to the sad news, several Leaf fans gathered infront of the ACC to burn money. Next to a massive bondfire, protestors carried signs, many of which read slogans like: "BOOOOOOOO" and "LET US WASTE OUR MONEY!"

In an effort to better understand these Leaf fans, The Linesman conducted several interviews with local Torontonians on Yonge Street yesterday.

"BOOOOOOO," said Tom Miles, a 28-year-old Leaf fan.

"I think... BOOOOOOOOOO, booooooo," said another die-hard Leaf fan, Christian O'Neil.

"Boooo," Lyla Smolinski said.

"Oh, did I mention BOOOOOOO," she finished.

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