Sunday, September 23, 2007

Pro-Barcelona FC Night Clubs Give Ronaldinho Curfew

Lately, the Brazilian soccer star Ronaldinho has built a reputation as an unstoppable party animal. Although partying is nothing new for the professional sports athlete, Ronaldinho is an exceptional case because his playing skill has been deteriorating gradually.

"He's hung over and completely tired for every game," said Barcelona FC president, Joan Laporta. "We're mediocre because our best player is partying too much."

In response to the crisis, several clubs in and around Spain that support Barcelona FC have taken an active step in preventing Ronaldinho from taking a severe nose-dive.

"If we catch him staying any later than 10:30 pm before a gameday, we're kicking him out and driving him home," said club owner Lucia Fuccilla. "Fuck rights and freedoms, he needs to play well."

On the other hand, night clubs that support opposing teams like Osasuna and Sevilla, are marketing themselves towards Ronaldinho.

"We send several emails to Ronaldinho promising free booze, the top DJs, and lots of sluts," said club owner Carlos Sanataria.

"If he sets foot into my club, "Renaissance," I guarantee you he won't be in shape to play for Barcelona FC the next day. Hahahaha," finished Sanataria.

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