Thursday, September 20, 2007

North Korea’s Soccer Team Blames Starvation On Poor Results

When you belong to a communist country run by a crazy dictator, the last thing you want to do is disappoint.

Kim Jong-il, the short and funny-looking ruler of North Korea, expressed great disappointment regarding his country’s failure to beat the USA in the women’s world cup of soccer.

“I will execute the players when they return to home soil,” said Jong-il. “I not happy am [sic],” he added.

To defend themselves, the North Korean soccer team has claimed that a lack of nutrients led to the poor performance.

“We have not eatten since the beginning of September. How does our glorious ruler expect us to win if we are all involuntarily anorexic?” said the captain, Ri Kum Suk.

“If it wasn’t for the free Gatorade provided by tournament sponsors, we would have all died of thirst by now,” added Suk.

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