Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Jose Canseco Turns Into Playwright

Seeing as how Jose Canseco's first book, "Juiced," didn't quite convince anyone that he really has a heart of gold, the retired baseball player will try to woo us again.

"Lots of people still think I'm a bad guy," said a depressed Canseco. "I mean, I explained [in my first book] that all those times I went to jail, it wasn't my fault. I'm a really good guy, seriously," he said.

In his second attempt to gain public sympathy, Canseco will write an adaptation of Christopher Marlowe's Elizabethan play, Doctor Faustus.

"I hear that people really, really sympathize with tragic heroes. Well, because of that, I figure, that if I write about myself as a tragic hero, then people will easily change their mind about me."

A professor from Brock University in St. Catherines, Ontario, has offered to write, errr, excuse me, EDIT the play.

"The similarity between the character of Faustus (a magician who gains more and more magical power) and Jose is staggering," said Dr. Tim Conley.

"Canseco dedicates his body to steroids to become more powerful, meanwhile, Faustus sells his soul to the devil in exchange for power. This will be a fascinating tale and YOU WILL sympathize with Jose because of it."

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