It's been a long season for NY Yankees slugger Jason Giambi.
"Because I've given up steroids, I figured I might as well search for my balls," stated a balloon-like Giambi. "I've missed them a lot."
"Now that I've found them again, I'm going to take a lot of pictures of them and sell the pictures on eBay," he said. "I know people go for that shit... Can I get them bronzed?"
Joe Torre has been very annoyed by Giambi's recent obsession with his new-found testicles, however.
"He sits on the bench in the dugout and plays with himself," said Torre. "Searching for his balls, whatever. I don't care and I don't like it, he's missing what's going on with the games and our practices."