Brian "can-you-hear-my-loud-voice" Burke, GM of the Anaheim Ducks, went missing last week. He was eventually found in the dark basement of the Ducks head office. At the time of discovery, Burke was tearing up hundreds of photos of Kevin Lowe (Oilers GM) with his seven-inch fangs.
"We don't get many werewolf situations, but they do come up," said police Constable Brown. "The Dustin Penner trade definitely had something to do with this."
"When we made love he would always make these eerie howling sounds. I didn't think anything of it at the time, but now it all makes sense," said his wife, Jennifer Mather. "But that was thirty years ago. I sleep with other men now... Oh shit, did I just say that out loud?"
Several witchdoctors have been contacted and are currently attempting to return Burke to his orginal form.