Sunday, July 8, 2007

Wayne Gretzky Has 99 Problems But A Bitch Ain't One

First his mom died. Then Team Canada, the hockey team he assembled, faltered in the Olympics. Next, he and his wife were accused of illegally gambling. In the meantime, Gretzky's Phoenix Coyotes have been sucking balls in the NHL.

"Yeah, I'm stressed. Not sure why the team isn't picking up. You would think that the best hockey player in history could coach a god damn team," said a disgruntled Gretzky.

The Linesman asked whether his relationship with Janet Jones has been adding to the stress.

"Eh, buddy, why do you think i married a super model? She blows me whenever I want. I get the best sex all the time, even at work, behind my desk. It's the only reason I married her, duh," said Gretzky. "We have a great relationship," he added.

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