Hippies Flock To Tour de France

There may never be another Woodstock. But with the way the Tour de France is going this year, there's definitely no need for another.

The news headlines covering Tour de France 2007 have drawn hippies from all over Europe in search of drugs.

"Man, where can I find some salbutamol? It'll, like, make me strong. That's groovy," said Leaves Riverbend, a hippie from Holland. "I heard Alessandro Petacchi had a stash. Lead the way, brother! Let's get real."

Disqualified cyclists like Patrik Sinkewitz have made thousands by selling their illegal testosterone pills to flower children.

"I'm a woman, but now, I can be strong like a man. I'm a free, independent woman, with this testosterone," said Willow Sandbanks. "I will shed my period blood all over the world," she added.