Bonds Out of Home Run Derby Due to Laziness, Old Age

Without directly admitting it, Barry Bonds will be missing the 2007 Home Run Derby because he is too lazy and "old." Apparently he can't swing at a couple of easy pitches.

"It's too long [the home run derby]. Too much waiting. Too much sitting around. You can't do that when you're 42," said an extremely fatigued looking Bonds.

Linesman reporter Liz Oak questioned Bonds further: "Isn't waiting and 'sitting around' part of a regular game of baseball?" In response, Bonds answered: "Next question!"

Meanwhile, 45 year-old NHL player Chris Chelios just renewed his contract with the Detroit Red Wings. At least some people believe in work ethic.