Belfour: Caught Drinking Alcohol On Ice

Underpaid factory-workers in Mexico aren't the only people who drink of the job.

Millionaire goalie Ed "The Eagle" Belfour has been charged with getting drunk during hockey games.

"The Florida Panthers would have arguably made the playoffs if it wasn't for Eddie getting piss drunk during our games," said a frustrated Panthers GM, Jacques Martin. "What a fucking idiot."

"We'd be playing well and everything, get a couple of goals, and then Eddie would just let in a whole bunch. He'd tell us it was his groin injury giving him trouble, and we believed him," said team mate Steve Montador. "Jesus fuck, we had no idea he was plastered! It explains everything."

Belfour will return next season as a Panther, but he will lose his privilege to keep a water bottle close to him on top of the net.