Several Linesman Writers Beheaded

As all four of you readers can see, The Linesman has not been publishing articles as often as it used to. This is due to the fact that a certain group of Linesman writers decided to ignore their deadlines.

We assure you articles will be published more frequently from now on though. All of the slackers were beheaded today and new staff has been hired. We apologize for the inconvenience and we assure you that all the incompetent writers are officially pronounced dead.

Pictured above: The beheading device currently situated in our office. It stands at the entrance as a reminder to all of our new writers of the serious consequences.

Linesman Ends Online Polls

The Linesman's history of using online polls has quickly come to and end.

"Admittedly, it was a gimmick," said editor-in-chief, Liz Oak.

"We're not going to sink to that level of relying on cheap tricks to attract readers... That's not to say that we've raised our level of status either," said Oak.

"We're still the least popular sports-humour blog on the internet," she finished.

Poll 1: TSN's Darren Dutchyshen is actually Christopher Walken. (3 votes, yes)

Poll 2: If Tank Johnson moved into your neighbourhood you should "buy more guns." (2 votes)

Poll 3: Marc Ecko is not an idiot. (2 votes, yes)

Frank Thomas Offended by Linesman Post

It isn't everyday that you're contacted by one of the greatest baseball players of our time.

Yesterday, Frank Thomas sent The Linesman an email. It was a slightly angry email, but, we were still happy to receive it because our inbox tends to be perpetually empty.

"Fuck you Linesman, you fucking piece of shit blog," wrote an angry Thomas. "Don't make shit up about my stats, bitches. I take that shit way too seriously, you know. I have no sense of humour so I will fuck you up. With my baseball bat," he said.

"I read any more false shit about me, I'll wrip your spine out," he added in his post script.

In reaction to the complaint, the staff writers of the The Linesman held an emergency meeting.

Nothing was resolved.