Tuesday, April 15, 2008

China Increases Toy Exports To US

China increased its toy exports by 765% yesterday after CNN network commentator Jack Cafferty made some erotic comments directed towards China.

"I think [China's government] is basically the same bunch of little-penis goons and thugs they've been for the last 50 years," Cafferty said.

The Chinese government expressed a little discomfort in reaction to this statement but nevertheless continued with its daily business of killing Tibetans and other miscreants.

In the mean time, millions of new Chinese-made toys arrived in harbours and airports all across America the following day. The toys, officially licensed by the Super Awesome American Mighty Joe brand, will be hard to find for the next few months.

"Anything to do with the Super Awesome American Mighty Joe brand will sell instantly. This is the latest craze among American children. And of course, the paint on these action figures is so beautiful," said American toy critic, Louis Machomp.

This new series of toys features the most impressive paint job ever to be seen on actions figures.

"I don't know what they paint these things with, but these toys look like the best and most entertaining action figures to be released since the original Star Wars toys," Machomp finished.

President Bush was not available for comment because he was busy plotting a pre-emptive strike against Micronesia, Iran, Bulgaria and a deserted island off the coast of Lesbos.

In exchange for business advice Best Global Ltd. gave us the rights to display the picture seen above.

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