Marion Jones, a former superstar sprinter, has recently developed a supervagina due to the amount of growth hormones she took during her running career.
"I was on the treadmill one day while I had my period, and I leaked red all over my pants," she started saying at a press conference yesterday.
"I was like, 'yo girl, what gives?' I had a tampon in... And then I realized that I had two bleeding holes, not just one."
After visiting her doctor, Jones quickly learned that her past use of growth hormones had triggered the mutation.
"I'm not quite certain where the birth canal is any more," said Phillip Recouver, Jones' doctor.
"The bad news is that she might confuse a man in the act of sexual intercourse. The good news: she can still function normally. And besides, Marion makes a desirable three-some partner now."
Reportedly, in effort to rebuild her reputation, Jones accepted a position at Club Super Sex in Montreal.