Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Under-12 Lacrosse Team Falsely Suspected Of Raping Strippers

All is good for the Whitby Dragons, a house-league Lacrosse team from Whitby, Ontario. Members of the team were suspected of raping a stripper, but these suspicions have been confirmed as false.

"We arrived on the scene anticipating a gang bang," said Constable Hoover. "Luckily, we didn't detect any vaginal penetration whatsoever."

"I invited the strippers over to our team party because other Lacrosse teams do the same. It's obviously the cool way to throw a team party," said team Captain Jonathan Bricks in his prepubescent voice.

"But we didn't rape them! My penis isn't even big enough to do that!" he added in his defense.

"False alarm," said Mr. Bricks, father of Jonathan. "Just another stripper party, keep moving along and fight more severe crimes, please," he said, while shutting the door on our reporters and police.

It has not been confirmed whether the strippers were paid for their services due to the abrupt ending of the party.

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