Yesterday night - Eric Staal, star forward of the Carolina Hurricanes, had such a great time at his Bachelor party that the police even heard about it.
"We received a noise complaint from other guests staying at the Lutsen resort here in Minnesota," explained constable Brown. "Beer funneling, strippers, disgraceful gansta-rap, and do-it-yourself tattoos. It was a bachelor party gone wrong."
When the event was busted, several of the guests (many of whom were fellow NHL players) fled into the nearby woods. They have been missing ever since.
"I'M NOT RATTING ANYONE OUT!" yelled an intoxicated Staal. "I'M AN STANLEEeE CUP CHAMPON! [sic]" he added.
Police have searched the Minnesota woods without any luck. They plan to discover the identities of the suspects when they discover which players miss the beginning of NHL training camp.