Despite Fixing Games and Bribing Refs, Team Canada Loses FIFA U-20 Tournament

If the FIFA U-20 tournament is meant to showcase the "stars of tomorrow," Canada has a very bleak future in soccer.

Not only did Team Canada not win a game, they didn't score a single goal - in spite of the fact that the games were all rigged.

"They gave me $5000 to call the game in their favour," said Will Paabor, referee of the Austria-Canada match. "It was a handsome bribe, but all I can do is give away red and yellow cards. I can't win for them!"

"Canada also paid us about $100,000," said Eddie Hudanski, coach of Congo. "It was a smart bribe because, you know, we're an African nation and we're not very stable. But shit, we're not going to lose on purpose if you can't get shots on net."

"We tried really hard to lose," said forward Erwin Hoffer of Austria. "But it was honestly more easier to win."