Sunday, June 10, 2007

Leafs Manager Claims Steroids-Pumped Opponents Foiled Cup Dreams

The most incompetent man in Toronto, John Ferguson Junior, came up with another lame excuse yesterday as to why the Maple Leafs missed the playoffs for a second consecutive year.

"It's all the players on steroids. They're cheating. They're against us," Ferguson said.

How full of shit is Ferguson this time? Turns out, not that much. Sources have confirmed that New York Islanders defenceman Sean Hill (Pictured above) has tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs. Coincidentally, the Islanders pulled up their socks towards the end of the 2007 NHL season and won more games than Toronto did, eventually knocking the Leafs out of the playoff race. Isn't it surprising that the more-skilled teams advance to the playoffs?

"One defenseman on steroids, that changes everything. We lost out because Sean Hill was on steroids. I blame Hill. That's the exact reason why we didn't make the playoffs. Nevermind the fact that the Leafs are a poorly managed team," said Ferguson.

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